MJ1

San Diegans: Why so rude and cold?

I've lived in quite a few places around the U.S. and Europe and have managed to make friends very or fairly easily just fine any place I've lived--even a couple of them in San Diego. However, I'm absolutely bewildered by a generality I've experienced since moving to San Diego: its surprisingly rude, cold, aloof, and unfriendly population.

I mean, there are things I like about SD, sure. It has a great climate, much like the rest of coastal SoCal, of course. It has easy proximity to L.A. and Tijuana.

However, in only five months in SD (I live in North County and work in the city), I've experienced:
- Indifference in customer service
- Coldness and unhelpful attitudes from all levels of management in the company I've worked for--I've never walked out of a job so quickly in my life, and I've had some nasty bosses previously (as well as many great ones)!
- The nastiest attitudes from job interviewers and recruiters--as in, I've called two companies' HR departments and complained about the interviewers, something I've never even felt the compulsion to do previously
- Road rage directed at me numerous times, which I have not instigated, engaged and fueled (I honestly didn't experience this in L.A. or the Bay Area!)
- Going out in PB, OB, and La Jolla, which has introduced me to the wide range of douchebags that San Diegans seem to love to rag on L.A. for supposedly having
- A landlord who, after putting her "nice face" on through the moving-in process, has turned out to be nuts and the only bad landlord I've ever had

Now, I'd like to think that much of these attitudes can be somehow attributed to SD's super extremely transient (more so than even L.A. and the Bay) population, but I've had bad experiences with the natives, too. So much for "Happiness is Calling," as SD's tourism board likes to tout.

I'm incredibly disappointed and I feel soured as I already plan my exit strategy. Both L.A. and the Bay blow this place out of the water--additionally, the food, arts and culture are significantly better up there, and I did enjoy living in those places. What gives, SD?!?!
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lalacs Feb 17, 2017
I have been trying and trying to make meaningful friendships here in SD for 6 years. But I feel like it's all a waste of time now because people are either flaky, dramatic, cold, distant, or too high maintenance. I decided to move back to my town, close to Santa Barbara. I have about 23 friends there that I can talk and hang out and four was like my sisters. Mind you, I made that much connection with people within 2-3 years after my divorce and started on my own while in my hometown. In San Diego, I made some connections but it's not the same at all.
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brittnayg
brittnayg Its hard to make friends regardless, especially as we get older. People don't take the time to make friends in person when they have their phones. lol
Oct 11, 2017
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rosem6 Oct 22, 2016
I grew up in The Polite Belt: Ohio. We lived in Thousand Oaks northwest of LA for years until we moved to San Diego in 1993. We were amazed and delighted at how much nicer San Deigans were compared to the people in TO. And I have to admit, once you've seen something in SD, there's no need to go back, like the LA museums, restaurants, and the Armenian bakeries Glendale. To me, LA is an armpit, and LA traffic sucks. I found the friendliest people in Austin, TX. I didn't like living there, but loved the BBQ and Lamme's Pecan Pralines.
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Shah Alam May 10, 2017
You are experiencing the same as i in north county. I'm Asian American and a native San Diegan. It wasn't like this before. Something has changed and I suspect the unfriendliness is likely from people who are not from San Diego they have just brought their city attitudes in. The cold areas mostly observed are in
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johnm55 Apr 02, 2017
You are experiencing the same as i in north county. I'm Asian American and a native San Diegan. It wasn't like this before. Something has changed and I suspect the unfriendliness is likely from people who are not from San Diego they have just brought their city attitudes in. The cold areas mostly observed are in
Carlsbad, Encinitas, Along the 56 freeway but that said the median income is indeed much higher
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donnaz1 Jan 04, 2017
I have been trying to figure out why San Diego is so cold for 18 years. My guess is that they have so many transients and tourists that their communities get constantly displaced by strangers. It makes them cranky and possessive. Or maybe they are just angry that the locals aren't tourists buying their wares. I have had many, many San Diego residents tell me how cold they find San Diego. A lot of people move away. The flora, fauna, and geology make up for the people.
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ImaD Feb 25, 2016
If food, arts and culture are a priority to you, San Diego is probably not for you. While you can find it here, it's harder to find than LA or the Bay. If you're looking for sunshine and lots of activities, then San Diego has that. As for friendly people, every major area has its share of nasty people. It's sounds to me like you ran into most of them. I've certainly met every character you described while I was in Orange County.
I moved here from Orange County in the 80's and have found people much easier to connect with. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but it sounds like you have a bad attitude and everyone will be happier if you leave. I mean, honestly. What kind of response do you expect from a question like the one you asked?
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